Wedding Attendants
There is quite a lot of confusion over the names of the different types of attendants at a wedding and their roles. Luckily it’s all pretty flexible and almost anything goes! But here is a bit of help:-
Flower Girls : traditionally these are very little girls – although some people use the word bridesmaid to cover all ages
Bridesmaids: these can be any age of girl or woman but traditionally unmarried (although that is also flexible these days)
Maid of Honour : a rather nice little cake of a pastry case with jam in it and delicious almond flavoured sponge on top
Matron of Honour: this is the usual name for a bridesmaid who is married
Ring Bearer: a new American introduction – could be a child or even a dog or pony!
Page: young boys to walk with the little girls (usually with great reluctance!)
Usher: adult men – friends of the bridegroom and possibly including the bride’s brothers or cousins. These can also be women in this more flexible age.
Groomsman – an American name for the usher
Best Man: a special friend/brother of the groom. Can also be a woman – a friend, mother sister. Traditionally – if the bridegroom didn’t show up the best man had to marry the bride instead. So it used to be that the Best Man wasn’t married but that seems to have faded.
So what do they all do?
Flower girls, pages, bridesmaids and matrons of honour are purely decorative. They support the bride with their friendship but have no real responsibilities. This is not so for the ushers who should be working – they should be welcoming guests and showing them where to go for the ceremony and handing out orders of service if appropriate. They should be generally helpful and fetching, carrying for the whole wedding and reception.
The ringbearer (who is usually the Best Man) must remember where they put the ring(s) and produce them at the right time!
The Best Man – a big job! Control the ushers (good luck with that) and get the bridegroom to the church on time. Make a speech that is funny but not embarrassing – well not too embarrassing any way.
An interesting thing is that mostly in the UK the bride comes in first for the ceremony and the flowergirls, pages, bridesmaids etc follow behind her. In the USA this is reversed and they all come in one by one or two by two to wake up the guests ready for the arrival of the bride.
