Pitfalls to Avoid When Planning Your Wedding
We are all united in wanting the great day to go without a hitch but we don’t only mean practical things like the marquee blowing down or getting washed away or the food not appearing (or the bridegroom for that matter!)
We also want the day to pass without the shadow or even great grey clouds of ill-feeling, anger, non-speaking etc. So how can we avoid this?
Be open and clear from the start. This applies particularly to the guest list. Before you start discussing with anyone else you need a clear plan between the two of you of how big the wedding is going to be and how far out the circle of your family and friends is going to spread. This is also very important when you are considering “significant others”. Friends and relations who bring a partner you don’t know are doubling your guest list with strangers. If you make it clear from the start, then everyone knows, for example, no boyfriends or girlfriends who aren’t also friends of the couple or only first cousins but not their children etc etc.
Avoid Confrontation. This is of course not always easy to implement! Often somewhere in the family or friends there are either divorced or separated couples who don’t get on or even friends who are not speaking. If it’s possible, using Point 1, to avoid asking both parties then your problem is solved but that doesn’t often happen! Again, being open and clear really helps. The discussion could go something like this:- “ This is our special day and we would very much like to have you both with us. Please could you make a huge effort to bury the hatchet at least just for this one day? It would mean a lot to us. If you really cannot do that then honestly, although we will be disappointed, we’d prefer that to having a feeling of ill will spoil this very important day for us”
Make Definite Choices. So your family are expecting you to have all your nieces and nephews as bridesmaids and pages! If you don’t want any children then it’s best to say so right at the start before they even begin to dream. Same with Best Man, bridesmaids, speech makers – although it’s not very nice disappointing people it’s much better to get it done right at the beginning.
